<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Home is not where you live (but who cares when you’re gone) by Sevi007</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454864">Home is not where you live (but who cares when you’re gone)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevi007/pseuds/Sevi007'>Sevi007</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Romance, so there's kind of a lot of dialogue, talking things out</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:48:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454864</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevi007/pseuds/Sevi007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ages upon ages, the two gods had been searching in vain. In the end, what they had been looking for could could not be found above, below or in between - for it has never been a place, but a person.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hades/Persephone (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Home is not where you live (but who cares when you’re gone)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/rex101111/gifts">rex101111</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt from Rex on tumblr: <i>“Can you imagine Persephone dragging Hades to the surface for just a minute, just for a moment. He's grumbling, he's BUSY, there is so much work to do and -what is that? Huh. He doesn't remember the sun being that. Warm. did he forget? No. Must be because he's with her.” </i></p>
<p>Continue to read and you will notice that prompt kind of got away from me. XD </p>
<p>Listen, I know that canonically, technically, the happy family reunion of Hades, Persephone and Zagreus, completely with a happy family portrait, took place relatively soon after Persephone’s return. And while the portrait makes me really, really happy – I just think that king and queen of the dead have still a lot of things to sort out before they get their happy end. Part of that I want to address with this story.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hades: I can no longer tolerate my life here in this place. So, I am leaving, even if it kills me. I won't be returning to Olympus. If there is a place where I belong in this world, it must be somewhere between heaven and hell. Perhaps it's on the coast and has a little garden. Take care of Cerberus; I shall miss him.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>~ </em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Persephone’s letter to Hades</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>„Mother really does not do things halfway, does she?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Persephone’s voice was strained, the chatter of her teeth laced into her every word. And yet when Hades turned to her she was smiling wistfully, her gaze directed at the glittering white around them fond and amused both.</p>
<p>As soon as he noted the shivers wracking her frame, Hades immediately moved to cross the distance between them, already loosening the clasp of his cape while cursing himself to the depths of Erebus and back again. Even to <em>him</em>, with his cape and internal fire, the air was frigid. To the goddess of spring, it must have been positively arctic. How could he not have thought of that?!</p>
<p>For all his anger at himself and his mother-in-law, his hands were infinitely gentle when he draped his cape around Persephone’s stiff shoulders, pulling it closed around her. “Your mother,” he grumbled to himself, nearly letting the words get lost in his beard, “always had a talent for holding grudges for a very, <em>very</em> long time, even for us gods.” </p>
<p>“Oh, I…,” a little sound slipped from Persephone’s lips, a curious mixture of surprise and awe as she watched his hands wrap her gently in the cloth. Once he was finished, she reached up and touched his retreating hand gently, effectively rooting him in place when she smiled up at him. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Feeling as frozen as the land around them, Hades could not muster a single word. He nodded jerkily, murmuring something which could count as assent, and forced himself to take a step back again, to put distance between them to be able to <em>breathe </em>again.</p>
<p>At least Persephone seemed to need to get her bearings about herself as well. She blinked into empty space for a beat before shaking her head, laughing quietly, and focusing on him again. “Well!” Let’s keep moving, before we freeze in place.”</p>
<p>“I would not even put that option past her,” he mumbled. He had thought the crunch of snow under their feet would have swallowed the quiet words, but Persephone actually laughed, blindsiding him completely with the melodious sound and nearly making him stumble. <em>Blast.</em></p>
<p>„You are still going on about that? I’m sure this is not her holding a grudge; this is...” Persephone gesticulated about, clearly at a loss of words, until she caught sight of him and the way his bushy eyebrows had risen nearly to his hairline. Defeated, she snorted and let her hands drop. „Perhaps a little. A very <em>little</em> grudge.“</p>
<p>“Perpetual winter. And only here,” he reminded her gruffly, only to bite back a court laugh when she leveled a glower at him, stubborn and defiant for a beat – before she deflated.</p>
<p>“She really <em>is</em> good at this, isn’t she?” Once he nodded gravely, she was already smiling again, her good spirits not that easily deterred. “But grudge or not – it really is quite beautiful, in its own way. Look!”</p>
<p>Hades grunted and would have kept walking, but of course she would not have any of it. She stopped right before the way bent around a corner, and with how close she had positioned herself at the edge of the plummeting cliff, he could not bring himself to simply continue on and leave her there. With nothing left to do other than to follow her gaze or stare at her, he heaved a soundless sigh and allowed himself to take in the sight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As far as they could see, the land was clad in powdery white, glittering in the early morning light as if diamonds had been ground into the finest powder and strewn out.  And where the last edges of his - <em>their</em> - realm ended, there was only the sea, dancing lights reflecting on light waves, and the sky above,  tinted in hues of orange, pink and palest blue.</p>
<p>It really was quite beautiful; he was at a point where he could admit it was. Once upon time he had been blind to the beauty of the surface and the skies; too hurt to see anything but a disappointment in those domains which had been denied to him. Not because he envied his brothers for the realms they governed over; blood and darkness, <em>no!</em> He could not have cared less about lofty highs and watery depths, and much less wanted to call them his own.</p>
<p>No, his ire had been drawn burning hot because it had been a short straw which had decided it all.</p>
<p>His life, his future, resting on a single straw. What a cruel joke that had been. Had the decision not been made by the Fates, anyway, long before he had made his draw? And they <em>all</em> had known so. <em>He</em> had known – had known that neither his brothers nor the Fates had even left him the pretense of having a say in the matter.</p>
<p>Now, eons upon eons later, he had embraced his fate and accepted the Underworld as his to govern over, much like it had accepted him in return. And with it, his rage had cooled. He was no longer blinded by it while gazing out over the mortals’ realm, feeling not awe over it, but at least a certain… contentment.</p>
<p>Although maybe most of it was because of the goddess at his side. Hades found he forgot all about the landscape once his gaze settled on Persephone; her eyes shone as she took in the sight, and the bow of her excited smile was so familiar and near-forgotten both, it wrenched painfully at his heart.</p>
<p>A portrait could never come close to the real sight of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It felt nearly sacrilegious to draw her away from something which could made her smile like that, but she would be miffed if she did not get the work done what they had come here for. Hades was reaching for her before his mind caught up with it, and only managed to draw his hand back an inch from her shoulder. “Persephone,” he called instead, quietly. „The garden?“</p>
<p>“Hm? Oh! Right,” another laugh; this time, he was better braced for it, and did not feel as weak-kneed as before when he followed her away from the cliff and up the mountains again while she chattered on. “My apologies. Here I am dragging you up to the surface to gather some plants from my garden, and then I get sidetracked at every opportunity.”</p>
<p>“You did not need to <em>drag</em> me,” he reminded her firmly, although not unkindly. “You asked if someone had the time for a short trip. I did, so I agreed.”</p>
<p>«And that was very kind of you,” Persephone’s steps were quick and sure, finding their way up towards the cottage blindly even while she glanced back at him. “Don’t think I’m not aware that there is now work piling up for you! But I would have had to ask Charon, otherwise, and I so hate to keep him from his duty...”</p>
<p>“It is doubtful he would have found the opportunity.” Frowning down at the slippery snowmelt his fire-clad feet left behind, Hades swallowed a grumbled and shook the cold wetness off as discreetly as he could. “With all the time he has spent selling useless clutter to the boy-… <em>Zagreus,</em> he is behind in his work as it is.”</p>
<p>His harsh words did not seem to deter her in the least. Green eyes flashed with mirth over her shoulder as she chuckled. “All that selling of clutter you have not forbidden him yet, you mean?”</p>
<p>A grumble left him, too indistinct to pinpoint if it was embarrassed agreement or offended muttering, and she laughed heartily. He kept silent, letting her have her fun at this expense. She was right, anyway, <em>and</em> it would distract her from questioning his decision to accompany her, which was a relief in itself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What would she say, he wondered, watching her sure-footed gait up the hills and the smile he could only make out the curves of from his position, when she knew he had never intended to let anybody but him accompany her up here? He would have loaded the chthonic gods with work himself if he had needed to, only to make sure he was the only one who had time for her.</p>
<p>Not because he did not trust anybody else to protect her. She was very capable of taking care of herself, nobody knew that better than him.</p>
<p>It was the destination of her trip which made him uneasy. Having to let her go, months at a time, for her visits to Olympus would be terrible enough already; he was aware of all his subjects and colleagues already conspiring not to bother him during those times, since his mood would be at all-time low the kind of which even titans and giants would have feared. But when it came to Olympus, he was at least sure she would always return to hi– to the Underworld. She did not like the mountaintop any more than he did, after all.</p>
<p>But here? The place she had made for herself; the everlasting reminder that he had chased her away once already? That she did not need him to be happy? He could not bear the thought of letting her go here alone and risk that he was left in the dark about her changing her mind about the Underworld, about her place amongst them… about him.</p>
<p>If she did, he would not stop her, of course. He would let her go, no matter how it would break him. But at least he would be there, and would know where she was; that she was safe.</p>
<p>And at least he could say goodbye this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So lost in his increasingly hopeless thoughts was he that he did not notice the sound of her footsteps changing; the crunch of snow was replaced with the soft sound of grass swishing around her ankles. It was the change of temperature that alerted him to a shift, seconds before her voice made him look up, “We’re here! Zagreus did not promise too much, he really has been taking care of… Hades?”</p>
<p>Hades could not have answered even if he had really heard what she had been saying. He was frozen in place the moment he had looked up and laid eyes on their destination.</p>
<p>It was not what he had expected; not that he had been sure <em>what</em>, exactly, he expected to find on this trip. Perhaps something akin to the garden adorning the House down below: plants which could flourish despite the close proximity to the beyond, and which had likely survived more because of the magic of their owner rather than his own clumsy care in her absence.</p>
<p>But this place was different. This place, down to its very core, was her.</p>
<p><em>Persephone</em>.</p>
<p>She was everywhere here, in the air, in the ground. Not only her magic and her vitality were represented in the eternal spring garden – no, better. <em>Worse</em>. He saw the warmth of her smile reflected in the magical golden sunlight; heard the lilt of her happiest laughter in the gurgle of the stream further ahead; could feel the smell of her hair wafting up from the multitude of flowers tickling his nose.</p>
<p>The kindness and strength of her very soul was represented in every single piece of nature around them, and it was so overwhelming that even the God of the Dead stood stunned, unable to tear his eyes away from it all – away from <em>her</em>, standing there in the middle of the golden sunlight, looking every bit like the goddess and queen she was.   </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s alright.”</p>
<p>Her gentle voice pulled him from his stupor.</p>
<p>Persephone was smiling patiently at him, hand offered out with its palm up. “It’s alright,” she repeated gently, softly. “You won’t burn any of it, I promise.”</p>
<p>Hades’ confusion was short-lived; only long enough to notice that in his shock, he had stopped just short of stepping onto the lush green grass. Of course, he knew his fire would not, <em>could not</em>, burn any of this; it had never burned any of her plants down below, either. And still he felt hesitant to take the first step into this sanctuary of hers.</p>
<p>How could he possibly be welcome here, a distant part of him wondered, in this domain which was hers and hers alone, when he once had been the reason she had left the Underworld in the first place?</p>
<p>When he should have come here to beg her to return back home, yet never did?</p>
<p>And yet, there was still her hand offered out to him, her smile directed at him so kind and gentle. Even the deepest guilt and most crippling doubt could not stop him from taking such an invitation, and he reached for her haltingly, allowing her much smaller hand to slip into his and draw him over the invisible line between them.</p>
<p>Persephone’s widening smile was fully worth it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ripping his gaze from her features before he could be caught staring at the crinkles around her eyes or the bow of her lips, Hades directed his attention to the quaint cottage in the corner of the magical garden. While commonly and unassuming at first glance, upon closer inspection it was shimmering with the same power as the rest of the place did. “You made this yourself. Everything?”</p>
<p>“Mhmmmm,” even Persephone’s hum was proud. “The very first living quarters I made and maintained myself.”</p>
<p><em>You should not have had to. </em>“It is… comfortable.” Internally, he cursed his clumsiness. He could thunder orders powerful enough to halt titans in their tracks, command respect with a single cold word, yet <em>this</em> was causing him trouble?</p>
<p>Luckily, Persephone seemed blind to his inner war, beaming up at him as if he had made her the biggest compliment. “Right? I was quite happy with how it turned out; so homely. Although it became a little quiet from time to time, but… oh, well! Here we are.”</p>
<p>Her hand slipped from his as she moved to kneel next to a patch, immediately leaving him feeling cold. His fingers flexed, feeling the lingering ghost of her touch, while he watched his wife fuss a little with the ends of her peplos and chiton to get comfortable, setting the yet empty basket down next to herself. His cape, neatly folded, found its place next to it. The careful way with which she stroked over the cloth for a beat, lingering, made Hades’ heart turn over in his chest, and he had to look away.</p>
<p>In the middle of pushing her hair back, Persephone suddenly seemed to remember him standing there – already lost to her work, he noted with a surge of staggering fondness – and shot him a half-reassuring, half-apologetic smile. “I will try to be as quick as I can. You, hm. You still might want to get comfortable, however? There are chairs right over…there… oh.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her voice trailed off and into silence when he lowered himself to kneel beside her, mirroring her stance. She was still staring at him silently by the time he tucked the tips of his long beard aside so they would not get in the way, and in lieu of having to say much else, Hades murmured, “It will be faster, this way.”</p>
<p>“Right. Right, yes, of course.” She ducked her head, yet was not fast enough to hide her smile completely.</p>
<p>Unsure if she was making fun of him or not, he swallowed his instinctive, defensive retort and raised an eyebrow at her profile. “I <em>do </em>remember a little of what you taught me.”</p>
<p>“You do?”</p>
<p>The question was high with surprise. He felt his hackles rise immediately, jaw tensing.  Of course she could not even <em>imagine</em> that he would-…</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sorry, Hades,” her hand settling gently on his elbow made his rage draw back like the tides, as quickly as it had come. When he glanced up again, Persephone grimaced in a way that was apologetic and self-deprecating all at once. “That was silly of me. I should have known you – I <em>know</em> you still remember. After all,” and here, her expression softened in a way that made his throat go tight, “after all, you took care of the garden by the House in my absence, right?”</p>
<p>Once more he tensed; this time not from anger, but because he suddenly felt caught out. He nearly ripped his arm from under her hand but couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he simply avoided her gaze, rather decisively. “I attempted to.”</p>
<p>“And you did a wonderful job at it,” Persephone said, so firm he dared not even scoff at her words. “I was so happy to see it all flourishing when I came back. After all this time, I thought… well. To be honest, I thought it would all have wilted.”</p>
<p>Hades looked up at her sharply, searching for her gaze, but now it was her who was looking away. <em>She thought…?</em>  “Never,” his own voice startled him a little, raspier than he had meant to be. “I could never have…. It was… it was yours.”</p>
<p>The mere idea of the garden wilting and dying made him sick, even now. It had been one of the two only things that he had left of her, apart from their son. All to remember her by.  Raising Zagreus like the way the boy had deserved… well, he had failed at that, hadn’t he? But the garden. The garden he had somehow managed, to his own astonishment.</p>
<p>While he watched, Persephone’s features softened; Hades could not decipher the emotions swirling in her green eyes, yet the intensity there made his mouth go dry. Before he could further question it, she looked away, releasing him from his stupor. “Let’s get to work; I have kept you long enough.”  </p>
<p>His first instinct was to deny it; he had come here willingly, after all. But she was already handing him a little spade to work with, avoiding his gaze as she began to explain what she would like to do. All he could really do was accept the tool and nod jerkily along to her words, trying to get his whirling thoughts into order and <em>focus. </em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>In the end, it was not as difficult as first feared. They fell into a kind of easy rhythm, a dance they had danced long ago and with steps that now quickly came back them. Persephone directed him with gentle words and helpful pointers while she made quick work of her own half of the patch; he, in turn, was content to follow her lead without missing a beat. Most of the time, he dug a hole around the plants she pointed out to him, graciously leaving space around the roots so as not to damage them, and then let her lift seedlings, seeds and bulbs out of the earth to dust them off and set them aside in her basket.</p>
<p>Often, Hades got momentarily lost watching her. Watching her simply… being. He had nearly forgotten how <em>radiant </em>she was when content. The tilt of her little smile when she found a particularly strong little seedling. That she would praise the plants for their beauty and growth. More than once, he had to force himself to look away in time to avoid her questioning gaze, for he did not know if his staring would be welcome at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Only once the sun had already passed its zenith did Persephone sit back on her heels with a deep, content sigh and wiped the back of her hand across her forehead, cleaning sweat and dirt off her brow. “Phew, that should last us for quite a while now.”</p>
<p>Hades followed her lead and sat back; he knew better than to make a snide comment about the plentiful assemble of plants nearly spilling over the sides of the large basket. He already knew she would probably return here at some point in the near future, no matter what she said now. The surface was part of her, and she needed it like her flowers needed the sunlight. “Shall we heed back, then?”</p>
<p>“Probably,” but even as she said it, Persephone did not sound convinced. Her gaze lingered on the garden around them, travelling here and there, but never quite meeting his. “You will have to meet Zagreus by the temple soon, won’t you? He was preparing to leave when we went out.”</p>
<p>Ah. Hades nodded with a quiet grunt, hoping his surprise was not as visible as he thought. He had completely forgotten about that while they had been here, and he did not quite like to admit it.</p>
<p>The curve of Persephone’s smile betrayed her pride as she glanced over at him once more.  “He got so good at this. Do you think he has passed through Asphodel already?”</p>
<p>“He will be leaving it soon,” Hades corrected absentmindedly and without a hint of doubt. He felt it, the same way he felt his heart beat and his lungs draw breath: While they spoke here peacefully, tremors shook Asphodel beneath their feet. Ear-splitting hisses sent tortured souls scurrying for cover while the trashing of an angered Hydra sent more magma over the edges, flooding what little solid ground was still left with the Phlegethon’s liquid fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zagreus had become quick in his escapes, Hades had to give him that; with each run to the surface, the young god got faster, stronger, more strategic about his approach, and the Underworld had little to offer that could keep him chained, at this point. The Hydra would not be able to hold him in place long. The champions of Elysium would slow him down <em>somewhat </em>but even they would fall before the prince, as they had done many, many times before. And then soon, it would be the Lord’s own turn to try and send him back to the House.</p>
<p>By sunset, Hades guessed when he checked the sun once more, sunset at the latest he would have to face his son. And while those fights had gone on from a bitter deed over to an annoying nuisance and ended up being something he actually looked a little forward to – well. Today was different, wasn’t it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Persephone was still looking at him questioningly, ever patient, when Hades glanced back at her.  There was still a streak of dirt on her cheek which she did not have seemed to notice. It made her look younger, somehow; every bit the young, spirited goddess with dirt under her fingernails and the stars in her eyes whom Zeus had one day dropped at his doorsteps as a “gift”, and who had immediately started to worm her way into his heart.</p>
<p>Without making the conscious decision to, Hades reached out and gently, carefully, wiped the dirt of her cheek with his thumb. Under his palm, he felt her draw a breath and then fall entirely still, and when he realized what he had just done, he dropped his hand immediately.</p>
<p>He had not made the first move to touch her ever since she came back. And now he was not sure if the wide-eyed look she gave him was to mean he had made a horrible mistake.</p>
<p>Changing the subject <em>right now </em>seemed the safe thing to do.</p>
<p>“Hades…”</p>
<p>“There is time yet,” Hades interrupted her softly; unsure if he wanted to hear what she had to say. “I can remain for a little longer, if…”</p>
<p>He trailed off, gaze flicking away from her as he cleared his throat uneasily. How to continue on without making it sound like he was trying to make her decision for her was beyond him. Yet asking her to <em>please, stay here, with me, a little longer,</em> seemed like too much, still.</p>
<p>“Hades.”</p>
<p>It was said much firmer now, a gentle command which immediately made him listen, even when he could not yet bring himself to look back at her. He nearly <em>did</em>, his whole arm jerking in surprise and shock, when she gently took hold of the hand he had let drop away from her moments before. Her touch felt alien, after all this time; his fingers twitched when hers ghosted along them, cradling them, torn between holding very still and grabbing hold of her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Persephone’s gaze was a near corporal thing, drilling into his temple, but he still refused to meet her gaze; couldn’t bring up the courage to do it. She seemed to sense this, since she took a deep breath after a moment and began talking again without waiting for eye contact. “When Zagreus visited me, here, before… he told me something.”</p>
<p>Both of her hands settled around his now, holding him, staying him. It might have been a good thing, for a suspicion already rose in his mind, making his muscles lock as if to bolt.</p>
<p>“He believed you might still love me.”</p>
<p>Suspicions became reality, All air leaving him in a great rush, Hades closed his eyes, remembering – remembering very vividly: the door to his chambers just the slightest bit ajar on his return; dust on a side table disturbed ever so slightly; and the portrait… the portrait which had been standing half an inch more to the side as it had for the last eternity.</p>
<p>He should have been furious, then; he should have been furious <em>now</em>. At his son for meddling in things that were not his to care about; at Achilles, for abandoning his guard duty out of misplaced loyalty; at the Fates, perhaps, for continuing to make a fool of him. </p>
<p>Instead, he only felt tired. So very, very tired.</p>
<p>And she was not even done yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do <em>not</em> be angry with him.” The force in her voice nearly made him smirk despite the circumstances; every bit the queen he still remembered after all. Then her voice softened again, making him listen very closely despite himself, to catch her next words. “He did it to convince me to come back, you see. Because I said -… well, I said to him there was nothing left for me, in your House. Not after…after all this time.”</p>
<p>By the end of it, her voice had taken on such a softness, such a dejected tone, that he could no longer look away. His head swiveled around, but ironically, now <em>she</em> was avoiding <em>him</em>; keeping her gaze fixed intently on their joined hands and making it impossible for his incredulous stare to decipher her meaning.</p>
<p><em>Nothing left?</em> She could not be serious. She could not have possible thought, all this time…</p>
<p>“I could not quite believe it, when he told me,” Persephone continued on, either blind to his inner turmoil or ignoring it for the moment. “That could not possibly be <em>true</em>, because… because. After all this time? After… I left you, without as much as a goodbye.”</p>
<p>She laughed quietly, then, but it was nothing like the sound he loved to hear so much; it was watery and quivering, and he could not stay still for any second longer, reeling as he was. Turning his wrist in her grip so he could cradle her hand in his palm, Hades squeezed it, hoping it would get her to look at him as he reminded her gently, “You left me a letter.”</p>
<p>“A <em>letter,” </em>the shaky sound repeated itself, laced with a scoff, but at least Persephone looked up at him now. Her eyes were watery, but steely as she shook her head. “That letter was not <em>enough</em> to tell you-…”</p>
<p>“I understood,” he hated to interrupt her, but he would not let her go that spiral of doubt and she was working herself up to. “I understood that you did not want to stay.”</p>
<p>She fell quiet then, her gaze darting over his features, searching for something. A deep breath, then a sad smile formed on her face once she seemed to have found it. “Perhaps. But perhaps, you misunderstood my reasons to leave.”</p>
<p><em>What?</em> Hades slowly shook his head. It seemed ridiculous. Of course he had known. There might have been a great many things he had not known anymore, then – why they had to suffer; why <em>she</em> had to be punished for their love; why anything still mattered with her gone. But this, he <em>had</em> known.</p>
<p>“Really?” Persephone prodded, gaze sharpening a little at his denial. “Did you <em>really</em> know? I did not tell you. I <em>should have</em> told you.”</p>
<p>“You were not happy,” this was the easiest part, painful as it might be; the sound of her crying had haunted him for a long, long time, after all. “It was obvious. What was there to tell me?”</p>
<p>“Is that really all you thought? Or did you think, maybe, that I was not happy <em>with you?</em>”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Already having opened his mouth to reassure her once again that he had understood, Hades paused, carefully considering her words once more. To him, there had never been a difference; if his wife had not been happy in their home, then it had to be his fault. If she had to leave because she could stand it no longer, than <em>he</em> had failed her. What husband was he, when he could not even make her feel welcome, and happy?</p>
<p>“That is what I feared,” Persephone interpreted his long silence immediately, and correctly. She looked positively grief-stricken when she shook her head. “Oh, Hades. That is what I <em>meant</em> when I said the letter was not enough-… you were <em>never</em> the reason why I left!”</p>
<p>He had not been? <em>He had not been.</em> But still…</p>
<p>“I was not reason enough to make you stay, either.” He cringed the second the words left his mouth, hating how petulant and selfish they sounded.</p>
<p>“… Back then, no, I suppose you weren’t.”</p>
<p>It hurt to hear her say it, even when he had always known it for a fact.</p>
<p> “You always made me so happy. However, at that time, there were so many things that made me forget what happiness even meant.” Persephone’s breath caught a little before she shook her head, drawing aimless pattern on the back of his hand. “My insecurities over my place in your realm…. If I was able to be the queen you deserved. My loneliness. And, most of all…. when Zagreus…”</p>
<p>Her voice gave out on her, then; he did not need her to finish, hold around her shaking fingers instinctively tightening.</p>
<p>(Their son had been so very small. So very beautiful. So very dead silent.)</p>
<p>Quietly, Persephone sniffled, one hand coming up to discreetly wipe at her eyes before she continued, keeping her head ducked. “Some of those things, I am still not sure about, even looking back at them. But I had time to… get some distance from it all. And Zagreus… well.”</p>
<p>She looked up, smile soft yet radiant. “He <em>found</em> me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What should have been a reason for joy only made Hades twitch guilty, nearly pulling his hand back; her touch suddenly so undeserved. For none of that had been <em>his </em>work. He might have believed his decisions right, once, everything only to protect her. But in the end, he had only kept mother and son apart at every turn. “I should have told you,” he muttered, knowing she would understand without words.</p>
<p>And she did. For one terrifying moment, Persephone’s features closed off from him, lips tightening from a smile into a frown. No longer the warmth of spring, but rather cold disapproval. “Yes, you should have. On that, our son and I agree wholeheartedly.”</p>
<p>Again, he cringed, her soft words like a whip. He did not deserve their forgiveness, he knew, but… but. He feared, anyway.</p>
<p>“But that is not why I’m telling you all this. Not today,“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Barely able to believe his ears, Hades dared to risk another glance at her. Persephone had softened once again, her warmth returning. Yet she seemed hesitant to begin talking once again; he was familiar with the way she bit her lip, eyes lowered.</p>
<p>After a moment of hesitation, he allowed himself to shift his thumb, letting it ghost over her knuckles in silent encouragement.</p>
<p>Persephone‘s eyes darted to his, briefly surprised, before her smile returned and she squeezed his hand back, clearing her throat. “So Zagreus told me you might – might still love me. Well. I wasn’t convinced, as I already said. Not even when he told me about the portrait.  A portrait could just be a memory, after all. Collecting dust, no longer getting any attention.”</p>
<p>At that point, Persephone faltered once more, her gaze asking for his understanding. Hades nodded slowly; not in agreement, for her assumption could not be further from the truth, but in the hope she would continue. He <em>needed</em> to know what she was trying to tell him.</p>
<p>And she did. ”But… Zagreus’ claim stayed with me. In the end, whether he was right or not, it was the only thing he could have said to convince me to come back.”</p>
<p>She fell silent, then. Hades could barely breathe, anticipation and fear warring in him as he waited for her to explain, one moment, two, what seemed to be an eternity. Finally he realized that it would not happen, not without his prompting.</p>
<p>Swallowing tightly, he managed a rough „Why?“</p>
<p>It had been the right thing to do, judging by the way her whole demeanor relaxed and she smiled at him. „Because out of everything I left behind, it was you whom I missed the most.“</p>
<p>A wave of disbelief and relief swapped over him, strong enough to leave even a god dizzy. After all this time, all his shortcomings - knowing that she had missed him even a little was a balm on his broken old heart.</p>
<p>
  <em>Fates, but he did not deserve her. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Hands trembling faintly under the onslaught, he forced them to calm long enough to wrap them around Persephone’s, dwarfing them, while he searched for words. They were not his strength, ever been. But she had been so terribly brave and strong, and now – now it was his turn. It was the least he could do for her.</p>
<p>“Not only a memory,” was what he finally managed, tongue so heavy with emotions he could barely get it out. “The portrait, it was not that. It was always there, Persephone. You... you will <em>always</em> be my queen.”</p>
<p>It was not the great declaration of love he had hoped to make. Not that he had ever been the best at those, anyway. Perhaps it was for the best; at least for now, when he was not sure such a declaration would even be welcome.</p>
<p>And still, great words or no, her eyes started to glow as she took in his words, a slow smile spreading on her face. She had always been the one to understand what he meant, no matter what words he did or did not say. Carefully, so very carefully, she slipped her hand from his – his heart missed a step in fear – only to take his hand in hers instead, to lift their joined fingers to her cheek in a mimicry of his earlier touch; a tiny thing that seemed to long ago now.</p>
<p>The whole world seemed to stop when she leaned into his touch, searching for it instead of balking from it, and smiled, eyes wet.  “Husband?” Said as a question and an invitation both.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something in Hades’ chest unraveled; a knot he had been carrying around ever since she left – ever since he had heard her cry out in anguish over their unmoving baby – finally loosening, letting him breathe at last. His hand was shivering against her cheek when he let his thumb gently stroke away the single tear slipping from to the corner of her eye. “Wife,” he breathed, answer and plea in one.</p>
<p>The sound which ripped from Persephone’s throat then was both incredulous laugh and broken sob; before he could worry, she was leaning forward, swaying into him until their brows touched.</p>
<p>The connection was – <em>everything</em>, Hades decided, releasing a breath he had not realized he had been holding. Once more he was enveloped by her, her scent, her warmth, her touch; he had thought he had lost any right to this. His second hand rose to gently cup her other cheek, fearing she would vanish like a dream in the morning light if he did not keep her close. “<em>Persephone</em>.”</p>
<p>“Hades,” she answered his broken plea without a beat of hesitation, her hand cupping his, holding it tight. There were tears in her eyes, only visible because she was so close. “<em>Husband;</em> I missed you so.”</p>
<p>“You should be <em>furious</em> with me…”</p>
<p>“Shhhhh,” her firm headshake nearly knocked their noses together. “We have been angry long enough. We have been <em>hurting</em> long enough. Not now. Please. Let us… let us think about how to be better in the future, but… later. Yes? Not now.”</p>
<p>Who was he to deny her? He did not know if it was the right thing to do, but then it was not his place to decide, either. He would do <em>anything</em> his queen asked of him. Anything, if they could just stay a little longer like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And stay they did. For how long, he did not care, and hoped she would not, either. It could have been an eternity but it still felt too soon when Persephone took a deep breath and leaned back, his hands slipping from her face.</p>
<p>He immediately missed her but stayed, waiting for what she had to say; for he did know the cheeky gleam in her eyes still when she considered him from close up and yet too far away, head tilted. “Persephone?”</p>
<p>“Not in a hurry to get back to your paperwork?”</p>
<p>He snorted loudly without a thought, the notion too ridiculous to take it seriously for even a second. Only after did he register the mirth dancing in her green eyes, the smile twitching at the corner of her lips. It all seemed so familiar, quite suddenly, but why…?</p>
<p>Oh. <em>Oh</em>.</p>
<p>The realization was sweet and warm like the ambrosia he pretended to hate so much.</p>
<p>An eternity ago, this question had been a secret joke between them – a relic from old times where they were still so familiar which each other that she could tease him with the question without fearing his ire, and when he could tease right back without feeling like a clumsy fool.</p>
<p>She still remembered that. She thought it time to bring that old familiarity back. The thought filled him with a warm to battle even Demeter’s harshest winter.</p>
<p>What had been his answer, back then? Right. Something along the lines of…</p>
<p>“Why, always,” he rumbled, making sure to draw the syllables out as if in consideration, “but I can make time for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pure delight lit up on Persephone’s face then and she laughed, heartily and happily, warmer than the sunlight around them. It prompted an answering smile from him, the kind of which he barely even remembered anymore. She was beautiful, his queen; now more so then ever, since he had her back. He would have loved to…</p>
<p>He was reaching for her before he could think better of it, now more sure of his welcome than before. Yet once his fingers were trailing along her jaw, he hesitated. Was this too fast?</p>
<p>“My queen,” Hades murmured, waiting until her eyes were on him before he let his gaze drop to her smiling lips. “May I…?”</p>
<p>She understood, of course she did. She understood, and instead of rejecting him, Persephone only laughed quietly and made the decision for him – something he would have not permitted, never again, had it been anyone else but her. Before he could even blink, she was rushing forward, arms settling around his shoulders securely, and lips crashing into his to kiss him with a ferocity and passion no god or mortal would have expected of the goddess of spring, except perhaps her husband. And a good thing indeed that he did, for it made him spring into action the moment their lips meet, readily welcoming her back into his arms and steadying them  before she could topple the both of them.</p>
<p><em>Back home, </em>Hades thought, blurrily, as the world fell away around them, everything but their joy, their longing and their love ceasing to exist. He was back<em> home. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>And for the first time ever, he actually felt like thanking the Fates for his lot in life.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>